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After walking into my local Starbucks shortly after Halloween, I realized Christmas was soon-to-be upon us. These guys don’t waste any time draping themselves in red (like Take Back Your Brain! cleverly pointed out) and getting ready for the big day. As a kid, neither did I. And so begins my story…

I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid (circa 1985 or thereabouts), I remember just how excited everyone got when the local department store’s Christmas Catalog would arrive in the mail. The Sears Wish Book and Eaton’s (a former iconic Canadian department store) Christmas Catalog bring back great memories. In particular, the toy section…the holy grail of these paperback tombs of treasure.

A large part of what made Christmas so much fun to us kids (speaking as a former kid) was rifling through this massive slab of marketing genius for the latest G.I. Joe vehicle, Star Wars action figure, or He-Man warrior. (Note to reader: I’ve excluded my sister’s wishes, which would have probably been My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, or something like that, as mine were clearly more important…).

While kids undoubtedly still go crazy near Christmas, the method in which Christmas wish lists (and some not-so-safe toys) are put together has changed dramatically. I remember when I had to physically write what I wanted down and/or tell my relatives in person. Not fun.

Those days are long gone as kids nowadays are Internet demigods and have resorted to electronically crafting their lists with surgical precision and emailing/MSN’ing/Facebook’ing them to everyone under the sun.

Well, thanks to the good folks at x-entertainment.com, I almost fell out of my chair when I came across Matt’s 1985 JCPenney Christmas Catalog article. It’s poetry, sheer poetry.

I must admit, though, I’m still a little bitter that Santa never brought me this (forgot how ridiculously large it was!) - click on the images to see what’s behind the curtain:

But I did have a tonne of fun when I opened some of these mean machines up:

I know, I know, you’re probably wondering where the plastic-wrapped Luke and Darth Vader actions figures are. I would be too. Don’t worry though, thanks to The Chronicles of a Star Wars Collector, you can have as many Star Wars action figures as you’d like.

I don’t think the 268-page hardcover book is still in print, however.

So go on, grab a Starbucks (in a red cup), and think about all the things you used to see in those Christmas catalogs that made your heart jump for joy faster than frogs on a dynamite pond. I’d love to hear about them!

darren

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