…and I said, sorry, I have no idea what nutmeg even is!

That’s how the story I’m about to tell ended, so why don’t I take a few lines and explain how it began. Let’s start at the ‘new’ Save-On Foods on Cambie Street here in Vancouver (thanks to yyu34 for the image).

If you live in Vancouver, you’re no stranger to the Cambie Street construction-fest to accommodate the new high-speed tram connecting downtown Vancouver to the airport.

A good thing for Vancouver? I think so.

A pain in the a$$ to circumnavigate? Most definitely (being kind).

Remember what I told you a few months back about Safeway customer service? Well…I’m not about to throw out the baby with the bath water here, but, I personally feel (and have felt for a while) that I’ve been getting ripped of from Safeway’s rather ‘high’ prices.

You see, I’m more of a ’shotgun’ grocery shopper (as opposed to a ’sniper’). When I go, I go big and I make an impact. I can’t be bothered with a bunch of small trips to pick up the odd bottle/box/can/package/bunch of whatever.

So, what I thought I’d do is fire on over to 8th Avenue and Cambie Street to check out the ‘new’ Save-On Foods (opened in April 2008) and see if they could ‘be the new black’ with respect to grocery shopping. Guess what Safeway, and you know who you are…they were.

I won’t bore you with the play-by-play of the actual shopping list (’cause that’s plain boring), but what I can tell you (and want to tell you) is how I was dealt with given my ’situation’. Understading the lay-of-the-land at 8th Avenue and Cambie is key to this…it’s a flippin’ mess! Parking is very difficult to come by (only later did I notice the entrance to Save-On Foods’ underground parking!) and when you do ‘come by it’, it’s not all that convenient.

Here’s the situation…I was a block or so away at a parking meter (which I paid by my blackberry…so cool) and had a cart so full that the cashier decided to interject with an attempted witty comment. To be honest, it sounded like something my parents would say (can’t remember…but something like ‘Whoa…you about to feed an army’?). Funny.

That’s where Doug comes in. Doug is about 5 feet tall, looks like he’s about 11 years old and is one of Save-On Foods’ ‘bag people’ (or whatever they’re called…sorry Doug, didn’t catch your title). Here’s why you need to deal with Doug, if the situation should present itself:

• Doug more-than-happily agreed to help me take my army-sized cart to my car (wherever the hell that may be…he had no idea)

• Doug was working for six hours straight and welcomed the chance to get outside

• Doug keeps on his person a little Star Trek device that unlocks the wheels once you leave the store (remember the movie ‘Face-Off’ with Nicholas Cage and the part when his ankle cuffs got ‘locked down’? Same deal.)

• Doug was pleasant to deal with and once we got to the car, he unloaded the cart with reckless abandon

• Doug told me a hilarious story about how he was asked a question as to the location of the nutmeg at Save-On Foods…he answered honestly claiming he had no idea what nutmeg even was

• Doug closed the lid of my trunk and by the time I got in my car and turned it on, like a ninja, Doug was gone

The morale of this story isn’t some lofty motherhood kind of message like ‘Always be nice to strangers’ or ‘Be open minded to new types of foods’. Instead, it’s more prescriptive.

1. Go to Save-On Foods on Cambie Street

2. Park wherever you like

3. Load your cart up

4. Grab some nutmeg

5. Give Doug a high-five…and don’t say why (he’ll know)

darren